CHIMNEY TOPS

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Over the past year or so, I have immersed myself into the local hiking scene here in East Tennessee, home of the Great Smoky Mountains (it's rather hard not to if you spend much time living here). And perhaps unlike most hikers here on the East Coast, I prefer hiking in the colder months of the year and the challenges that it brings. There is something indescribable about the cold air and the way it makes lungs burn and eyes water. 

And the views, man, the views

The views in the winter are so damn incredible. 

This past weekend was no different at Chimney Tops, one of the most prolific and popular hikes here in the Smoky Mountains. My friend Corey had never been on the hike and insisted on getting out into the mountains as soon as possible. Corey recently moved back to Knoxville from his time in Lynchburg, VA at Liberty University (my alma mater) and although we had never met before, it seemed as if we had known each other for years. Conversation accompanied us the entire time up the mountain, and my God how refreshing it was.

I don't generally bring along my DSLR on hikes anymore (not worth the weight or time) as I've opted to only shoot with my iPhone and film camera, but this time I went for it.

 I'm so grateful that I did. 

So with camera in hand and temperatures dropping into the teens, we trekked up all 4,800 feet and 2.5 miles of almost purely vertical trailhead. Our journey lead us to the peak where we watched sunset with about 15 strangers who soon became friends. We waited as long as we could before the skyline faded into a slow burning ember of hues and we headed back down into the dark.

So 2015, here's to you and all the mountaintops, sunsets, and conversations still to be had. 

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PhotoBarn + Knoxville, TN

I was recently hired by PhotoBarn, a local business here in Knoxville, TN, as their in-house designer and assistant jack of all trades. In the months that I've worked here at PhotoBarn, I have had the privilege to rub shoulders with some of the hardest working people I know. The little time I have been afforded to be around and talk to these people has renewed my belief that there is, and always will be, honor in hard work and doing such work with your hands. This past week, I've been able to document and detail the hands and faces behind all that PhotoBarn is and always will be, people and the stories they tell.

This Christmas season has been a story of highs and lows for PhotoBarn. From broken down printers to winter storms delaying entire shipments of wood, all of the folks that make up PhotoBarn have been tireless in their efforts and resilient in spirit. I've seen smiles and heard laughs from those about to finish another twelve hour shift. And despite all of this, I've heard stories and had conversations about life, work, and family with those who have lived two or three of my lifetimes. Some stories are more simple than others, some more heartbreaking or joyous, but all are important in some way. And that's what I like to think that PhotoBarn aims to preserve, people and the stories they tell.

Spencer x Seven Islands

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It seems like forever since I've picked up my camera when I wasn't being paid to. 

I honestly forgot how relaxing it is. 

It's also seems like forever since I've spent time with someone new.

I honestly forgot how refreshing it is.

Glad to be getting back to the basics of both.

Many thanks to Spencer for lending her time and trust to me for the day.

Also, a quick shout out to Tennessee for randomly being 60 degrees and sunny in November.

Talentless & Pennyless

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If I’m being honest, I’m tired. Really tired.

The above words pretty much explain my life for the past year.

Sending out resumes and portfolios and interviewing with jobs you know you probably won’t get…it takes a toll. Especially when bills and expenses are piling up.

I’ll be honest and say I never really saw myself in this place at 23 years of age. Coming out of college, I saw myself living in some Chicago or Nashville apartment with roommates and a steady social life, nothing too extravagant or flashy, but something I found a sense of contentment in. I saw myself in a job that I maybe didn’t love, but one where I felt like I was making progress, pushing myself towards something better. That’s what we’re all headed for right? Something better?

I’ve seen myself in a lot of different places, yet I only live in one. And here I am, sitting in my bedroom in my parents house. From time to time, I wonder what unordinary and otherwise forgettable string of events led me to such a place, this place. Every day I wake, there seems to be this weight against my chest, this pressing that I can’t seem to shake. My mind is a steady stream of unconscious thoughts that tell me everything I’m not and never will be…a  good photographer…a good designer…a good friend…a good person. It doesn’t take too long before you begin to believe the voices inside your head, even if you’ve got a few other voices telling you they’re wrong. 

And that’s where I am or have let myself be. Cut off, with only a few friends left in my corner of the ring. And I sit here, feeling beat to hell, knowing I won’t last another round in this place.

And that’s where I arrive at the point of all of this. While yes, I’ve been living in my parents house in a town I’d rather put behind me, I’ve also been taking up residence in this ol’ head of mine. Living inside your head, inside the bubble of your own fears and shortcomings is perhaps the most suffocating and unsatisfying way of existing. This isolation leads to bitterness, jealousy, resentment, anger, impatience, loneliness, over analytic thinking, and a host of other cold and dissatisfactory emotions and responses. We all have houses built out of fear. Some of us live in them longer than we should. The idea of stepping out seems even more terrifying. We are terrified of this world and the utter lack of control we have of it. And if you’ve ever composed a song, taken a photograph, drawn a picture, wrote a poem, built a piece of furniture, or created anything really…walking outside of that house and showing the world what you have is paralyzing to even consider. 

And that’s where I’ve been. Living in this world of being so sure that I’m not good enough and never will be. Well friends, i’m here to tell you, I haven’t even taken a step outside the front door and until I do, I won’t know a thing about myself and neither will you.

So here’s to leaving this house and these fears behind.

-A

*Also, I know penniless is spelled wrong. I did it on purpose because the “y” looked better and it was something different.